fbpx
Categories: Jokes

40 Best Dad Jokes awful !

Loading...
  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
  • How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
  • Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
  • I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  • How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
  • Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
  • What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
  • Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
  • Ill call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
  • What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant
  • Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  • What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
  • I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
  • The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
  • Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.
  • This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
  • Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, “No, just leave it in the carton!”
  • 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
  • Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”
  • What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
  • What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
  • I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
  • To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.
  • The rotation of earth really makes my day.
  • I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts
  • What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  • I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
  • Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
  • A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
  • I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
  • Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
  • I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
  • People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.

funny

Recent Posts

A Mother in Florida Faces Up to 30 Years in Jail After Recording Daughter Licking Tongue Depressor at Doctor’s Office Putting it Back

A Mother in Florida Faces Up to 30 Years in Jail After Recording Daughter Licking Tongue Depressor at Doctor’s Office Putting it Back

A mother in Florida could face up to 30 years in prison after she recorded and posted a video of… Read More

3 days ago
Lolita Express Air Hostess Details What Epstein’s Infamous Flights Were Like

Lolita Express Air Hostess Details What Epstein’s Infamous Flights Were Like

Last week, billionaire and registered sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was taken into custody over new sex trafficking charges in New… Read More

3 days ago
20 Facts You Never Knew About Conjoined Twins Brittany And Abby 2019

20 Facts You Never Knew About Conjoined Twins Brittany And Abby 2019

For anyone who does not know who Abby and Brittany Hensel are, they are a set of conjoined twins that… Read More

1 week ago
The Best 18 Comedy Movies of 2019

The Best 18 Comedy Movies of 2019

The Best Comedy Movies to Make You Laugh All the Way Through 2019 Real life can be, well, a lot.… Read More

1 week ago
10 year old boy separated from family in wilderness gets out alive

10 year old boy separated from family in wilderness gets out alive

The things that children play with and how they entertain themselves throughout history have varied greatly. In recent times, children… Read More

1 week ago
How to Stop Overthinking Everything and relaxing? 10 Simple Habits

How to Stop Overthinking Everything and relaxing? 10 Simple Habits

How to Stop Overthinking What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live? I’d say… Read More

1 week ago
close

Log In

Forgot password?

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. %privacy_policy%

Add to Collection

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.